Ingredients:  Frozen hamburger patties, English Muffins, a barbecue, one bottle of coconut rum, a can of pineapple, cola.

Step 1: Find bottle of coconut rum in back of pantry, decide to make pina coladas.

Step 2:  Discover can of pineapple rings, open and pour juice into glass with rum.

Step 3:  Decide that’s close enough to a pina colada, drink three of them.

Step 4:  Get hungry, decide to have luau because that would go with coconut drink.

Step 5:  Discover luaus are too my work, find frozen beef patties instead.

Step 6:  Light gas grill, while drinking fourth pina colada.

Step 7:  Put burgers on grill, check pantry for buns.

Step 8:  Cannot find buns.  Decide English Muffins are close enough.

Step 9:  Run out of pineapple juice, eat pineapple rings while chugging coconut rum from bottle.

Step 10:  Notice smoke coming from gas grill.

Step 11:  Discover patties are burned on one side, but nearly raw on the other.

Step 12:  Place burned patty on muffin, take bite.

Step 13:  Choke on charred meat, vomit onto grill.

Step 14:  Turn off grill, close lid.

Step 15:  Make drunken attempt to hide shameful barbecue accident.

Step 16:  Finish bottle of rum.  Ignore smell and complaints about burning vomit.

Step 17:  Pass out with partially eaten English Muffin burger in hand.