Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is Mike Scully, writer for the Simpsons and many other funny things.  I’ve been seeing Mike’s name for a long time and I’m not just checking out his tweets because he writes the TV show of the comics I write for.  His tweets are, well, judge for yourself.


March 2nd:  “Fun fact: Dr. Seuss died of cancer of the lorax.”

That’s what you get when you eat green eggs and ham.

March 2nd:  “Aren’t all marriages same sex?”

I don’t know.  That’s not what Rick Santorum says.  I hear he’s going to outlaw nudity.

March 5th:  “You know you’re in for a quality movie when the trailer starts with “HASBRO PRESENTS.””

Were there not enough ‘splosions for you in Transformers III?

March 8th:  “Attention Scriptwriters: the character of a 20-something girl who is “beautiful, but doesn’t know it” does not exist in the real world.”

Couldn’t agree more with this.

March 9th:  “Giving me a revolver with a bullet in it is like handing me a loaded gun.”

That sounds like a line either Homer or Chris Pratt’s character in Park & Rec would say.

March 9th:  “Bruce Springsteen starts tour on same day John Mayer announces indefinite hiatus from touring. It was a good day.”

In NJ, we’re legally obligated to listen to Bruce at least twice a day.

March 10th:  “Going to stop driving by that gym & envying the people getting in shape. Today, I’m going to drive my car into the place and kill them all.”

That is definitely a Homer line.

March 11th:  “Don’t know why my kids aren’t fascinated by stories from when I was their age.”

Wow, Mike’s lines are so much like the Simpsons dialogue.

March 12th:  “I’d love to be British because you get to sound classy, sophisticated, and call your Dad a cunt.”

Well, you can’t say that on the Simpsons.  Although it is Fox.  Maybe on the version they broadcast in England.

March 13th:  “March Madness? But I’m not done with February Furiousness!”

And April Awesomeness is just around the corner.

March 13th:  “Bachelor, Housewives, Dancing w/Stars, Biggest Loser, Apprentice… Networks, please stop telling me how “sophisticated” the audience is.”

When will the scourge of reality TV end?

March 13th:  “ABC & CW announce TV singing contest shows, thus filling the two hours per week where we have no TV singing contest shows.”

American Idol, a pox upon you!

March 13th:  “”This videogame is rated M for Mature.” If I was mature, I wouldn’t be playing fucking videogames!”

Don’t tell these guys.

March 14th:  “If Clint Eastwood can’t control his wife, what chance do the rest of us have?”

Let that be a lesson to all men.  Charlie Sheen is right.

March 14th:  “I’ve got the strangest feeling nobody’s watching me.”

Start taking plane lessons, but refuse to learn to land.  Then someone will be watching you.

March 14th:  “Doobie Bros drummer at Pearly Gates (ala Woody Allen):”I know we said you’re just alright, Mr.Jesus sir, but (NERVOUSLY GROOMS JESUS’ BEARD)”

Hey, yeah.  Plus they said they were his “friend”.

March 15th:  “Good thing they canceled “Luck” today. Next week’s guest star was supposed to be Sarah Jessica Parker.”

Whew.  Now I won’t have to vomit onto my flatscreen.

March 16th:  “Jury in Jamaican murder trial hopelessly dreadlocked.”

Ba-dum-dum!  Keesh!

5 hours ago:  “If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t have to borrow your druthers.”

He’ll be here all week folks!  Try the veal!  G’night!

Okay, let’s rate Mike’s tweets.  Insightful, funny and in the style of the Simpsons.  He’s got it all.  I give him an 8 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 9.  You gotta follow Mike.

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