sf-chris-avatar.jpg  with Chris Moreno

Every Thursday, Chris Moreno lists individuals whose behaviors are so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

It’s a new year Dick-a-maniacs (still working on what to call you folks.  Bear with me!), and I’m back from a brief holiday hiatus to deliver some more justice—Who Should Eat a Dick style!

— The Georgia man who was arrested after he dressed up as an elf over the holiday and entered a mall, telling a Santa that he was carrying dynamite, should eat Will Ferrell’s, Billy Bob Thornton’s and Tim Allen’s dicks for putting a damper on the most joyous of holidays.

— Alesha McMullen, the Kansas City woman who went apeshit on a McDonald’s because she was unhappy with her cheeseburger, should eat big, fat dick, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.

— Another story from Wilkes-Barre, PA.  What is it with that town?  This time a college student faces expulsion for urinating on a public nativity scene in town square.  For this heinous, not to mention sacrilegious, act he should eat R. Kelly’s dick… after he’s gotten peed on, of course.

— The Marion, Iowa postal worker who was found sitting drunk on a homeowner’s floor eating the leftover noodles from their fridge, should take a bite of a different noodle and eat some dick lo mein.

 — McDonald’s is turning out to be a regular Wilkes-Barre, PA as a vortex for potential dick-eaters!  Toledo, Ohio resident, Melodi Dushane punched a McDonald’s employee and a drive-thru window, all because they weren’t serving McNuggets.  For this, she should eat a dick—Super-Sized!  Second window, please drive around.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.