Super Frat

with Tony DiGerolamo

Every Thursday, Super Frat lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

Hey bros, Chris is crushing some mad deadlines again, so he asked me to fill in some dick.  Er, I mean—  Well, you’ve read the column before.  You know what I meant!

–  First up is this guy, who allegedly kidnapped and raped a prostitute, then sold her.  If this is true, you have violated the pimp code, sir.  For that, the punishment is to eat a dick covered in bright green velvet.

– Next is Wells Fargo, which apparently foreclosed on an animal shelter and wouldn’t let the owner tend to them.  Jeez, it’s a good thing no one left a baby in there.  Nice going Wells Fargo.  I have a special delivery for you; a package full of dick and fork.

– In Scotland, a babysitter that apparently got drunk and then fell into the road with a 2 year-old and a baby carriage full of booze.  Whatever happened to one popsicle, $4 an hour and cable TV?  Babysitter, you should be sent to bed early with a warmed over plate of dick.

–  And, hey, I like strippers as much as the next guy, but you don’t leave an 8 month old baby in the car while you go oggle boobies.  If this is true, “Father of the Year”, you’ve got a special plate of dick just waiting for you in the Champagne Room.

– And finally, to the douchebags that beat an eye right out of a kid, so he’ll never realize his dream of being a pilot, well—  Words escape me.  He was also a model, so now he can’t do that either.  Muggers, you’ve got a date with a plate of cock, fired from a potato gun by the one-eyed kid.  And May God have mercy on your dick-eating souls.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board