Super Frat

Hey Bros:

This next script sample isn’t a comedy except for the title, but I thought it was a cool sample.  If you’re into Star Wars, you might like it.  Enjoy!

Star Wars Episode 7: Death to Jar Jar

Sample Written by Tony DiGerolamo

Copyright 2009

 

PAGE 1

 

LARGE PANEL 1:  INT. ALPHA FIVE STRONGHOLD COMMUNICATIONS ROOM-DAY

 

CHANCELLOR ANTILLES (early 50’s, graying, but robust) is putting the finishing touches on his evacuation plans.  He is dressed in a Chancellor outfit and carrying a blaster.  He presses the button down on a console panel.  In the background, the room is shaking and bits of debris are falling from the ceiling.  REPUBLIC CIVILIANS run two and fro in a panic.  These are droids, humans and other aliens that worked in the civilian end of the crumbling Republic government.

 

                                    CHANCELLOR ANTILLES

            Repeat, this Chancellor Antilles!  Evacuate the planet

            immediately!  Evacuate!

 

SOUND EFFECT:   Rumble!  Boom!  Crumble!  Smash!

 

PANEL 2:  TWO SHOT: CHANCELLOR AND REBIK

 

REBIK is a Rodian (Greedo-style alien) with a prissy, civilian and “I work for the chancellor” outfit.  He carries a small handheld computer and looks physically weak.  The Chancellor turns toward him and away from the computer console.

 

                                    REBIK

            Please Chancellor!  We must flee!

            The Sith are everywhere!

 

                                    CHANCELLOR ANTILLES

            Steady, Rebik.  We’ve escaped worse.

 

PANEL 3:  ANGLE ON CHANCELLOR

 

As he steps away from the console, a large piece of the concrete support crashes down on it.  He is thrown forward on Rebik, who falls over.

 

SFX:  Smash!

 

PANEL 4:  TWO SHOT:  CHANCELLOR AND REBIK

 

The duo begins to stand up.

 

                                    CHANCELLOR ANTILLES

            What impeccable timing you have.

 

                                    REBIK

                        (worried)

            I try, chancellor, I try.

 

PAGE 2

 

PANEL 1:  THREE SHOT FAVORING FOGO

 

FOGO, a human with dark features and a somber look enters the room.  He has a light saber at his side and a blaster.  He’s dressed in plain fatigues that sort of make him look like a janitor.  He marches into the room as the Chancellor and Rebik get up and start moving to the doorway.  Rebik points at him accusingly.

 

                                    CHANCELLOR

            Fogo?  I thought you’d left.

 

                                    REBIK

                        (angry)

            He is the one that brings this nightmare

            upon us!

 

                                    FOGO

            This is not the time…

 

PANEL 2:  THREE SHOT:  FOGO, REBIK AND CHANCELLOR

 

They rush through the hallway of the stronghold as it crumbles.  A light explodes and falls from the ceiling in the background.

 

SFX:  Zzzt!  Smash!  Pop!

 

                                    FOGO

            Even if I wanted to rejoin my Sith brothers,

            they would kill me.  Your betrayal is my own.

 

                                    REBIK

                        (to Chancellor, objecting)

            Sir!

 

                                    CHANCELLOR ANTILLES

            It’s true, Rebik.  Fogo is a changed man.

            I’d stake my life on it!

 

LARGE PANEL 3:  INT. STRONGHOLD HANGAR-DAY

 

REPUBLIC TROOPS AND CIVILIANS are scrambling to various ships in the docking bay.  Here and there a few pieces of debris rain down from the ceiling.  Rebik runs ahead of Fogo and the Chancellor.

 

SFX:  Boom!  Rumble!

 

                                    FOGO

            I sense a presence here…  Rebik, wait!

 

                                    REBIK

            No!  We must flee now!

 

PAGE 3

 

PANEL 1:  TWO SHOT: DARTH NEMESIS AND REBIK

 

DARTH NEMESIS is a cyborg wookie with dark fur.  His right eye, nose and most of his mouth has been replaced with cybernetics. He carries a massive red light saber, which he swings out from under his black cloak cutting Rebik in half.

 

                                    REBIK

            Ah!

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Raaaurrrrgh!

 

PANEL 2:  GROUP SHOT FAVORING NEMESIS

 

Darth Nemesis stands before Fogo and the Chancellor.  He is an impressive figure that towers over the two humans.  His voice box does not allow for his mouth to move.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Fogo, my old pupil, how you disappoint me.

            Cut off the chancellor’s head and I might let

            you live to serve the Sith once again!

 

PANEL 3:  TWO SHOT:  CHANCELLOR AND FOGO

 

Fogo fires up his light saber.  It’s green.

 

SFX:  Fzzztt!

 

                                    CHANCELLOR ANTILLES

            I’m afraid Fogo has seen the true path of the Force,

            Darth.  Those who hate shall be consumed by it.

            So is the fate of all Sith.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

                        (OFF PANEL)

            Ha!

 

PANEL 4:  THREE SHOT FAVORING DARTH NEMESIS

 

Fogo and Nemesis begin to circle each other in preparation for battle.  The Chancellor stays behind Fogo.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Are we not all consumed by that of which we

            desire?  Take my student, here!  He wanted

            nothing more than to defend his precious

            sister!  But he was weak and she died.  Will

            you be weak again, Fogo?

 

PANEL 5:  TWO SHOT:  FOGO AND NEMESIS

 

The two warriors face off.  Nemesis continues to taunt him.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Maybe I should return you to the desert hut

            where I found you crying!  Do you remember

            the smell of the blood?  I do…

 

PAGE 4

 

PANEL 1:  FLASHBACK PANEL WITH NEMESIS

 

Nemesis cropped in the corner.  In FLASHBACK behind him, we see FOGO AS A BOY, hiding in the desert hut.  He has his back to a robed figure, which is NEMESIS BEFORE HE WAS CYBERNETIC.  He shoots Fogo’s Sister, APIA, through the back.  Apia is about 14 and Fogo is about 6.  Blood shoots out of Apia’s chest and she looks surprised.  Fogo sees Apia get shot, but cannot see who is doing the shooting.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Because I was the one that killed her!

 

PANEL 2:  TWO SHOT:  FOGO AND NEMESIS

 

Furious, Fogo attacks Darth Nemesis savagely.  Nemesis blocks the blows with his light saber, but staggers back.

 

                                    FOGO

            Ahhhh!!!

 

SABER SFX:  Fzzt!  Fzzt!  Fzzt!

 

PANEL 3:  TWO SHOT:  FOGO AND NEMESIS

 

Nemesis uses his strength to hurl Fogo against the Chancellor’s shuttle.

 

SFX:  Slam!

 

                                    FOGO

            Ooof!

 

PANEL 4:  TWO SHOT:  NEMESIS AND CHANCELLOR

 

The Chancellor tries to get to the shuttle, but Nemesis points his light saber at him.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Please, Chancellor, stay where you are.  I don’t

            want to kill you…first.

 

PANEL 5:  TWO SHOT:  FOGO AND NEMESIS

 

Fogo gets to his feet and picks up his light saber, but he’s a little wobbly from the previous blow.

 

                                    FOGO

            Leave him alone, Darth.  This is between

            us.  Let’s finish this.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Ha, ha, ha!  Incredible!  A Sith that thinks he

            is a Jedi! 

                        (second balloon)

            Yes, let’s finish this.

 

PAGE 5

 

PANEL 1:  TWO SHOT: FOGO AND DARTH NEMESIS

 

Darth Nemesis uses the Force to lift up Fogo and choke him.

 

                                    FOGO

            Gag!  Gasp!

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            Fool!  You could’ve been a Darth!  Now you are

            nothing!  You should’ve stayed a Sith!  You

            should’ve kept your Sith light saber!

 

PANEL 2:  CLOSE UP ON FOGO

 

He’s sweating and choking, but he’s also holding out his hand.

 

                                    FOGO

                        (gasping)

            I…did…

 

PANEL 3:  TWO SHOT:  DARTH AND FOGO

 

Behind Fogo, laying on a packing crate, is Fogo’s Sith light saber.  Fogo uses the Force to turn the red light saber on and levitate it toward Nemesis just as he turns around.

 

SFX:  Fzzzzzt!

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

            What?!

 

PANEL 4:  ANGLE ON DARTH NEMESIS

 

The light saber goes point first into the cybernetic side of his head and comes out the back.  He drops his giant light saber.

 

                                    DARTH NEMESIS

                        (screaming in pain)

            Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!