My Apology

Written by Tony DiGerolamo

Copyright 2020


My friends, it is with a heavy heart that I write this missive and it has, frankly, been a long time in coming.  Events of the past few weeks and months have brought many things to light and I’ve seen inside myself and what I’ve seen isn’t pretty.  So it is for that reason that I write to you to apologize.

There are those of you that I hurt and disappointed and for that, I am truly sorry that I did not hurt and disappoint you much, much more.  The people I have let down and injured deserved so much worse and I was not nearly up to the challenge of scarring them permanently for life.  For that, I am truly sorry.

There were times that my actions were reckless and irresponsible as well.  How I wasn’t even more wild and uncaring about the feelings of the Goddamned pussies that surrounded me—  I’ll never know.  But know that I wish I had been an even bigger dickhead to all those loathsome people who I hate.  I should’ve crushed all their hopes and dreams.  I should’ve been better at berating them for their foibles and making them sorry they were ever born, but I failed to do that.  Sadly, that is something I can never change or forgive myself for not doing.

I take responsibility for not making more fun of the appearance and other immutable traits of people—  Especially people that were extraordinarily sensitive about it because that would’ve been Goddamn hilarious.  Trust me when I say that I would sometimes lay awake at night asking why I didn’t emotionally cripple these people when I had the chance.  These prospects are lost to me now.  I shall never get them back, so know that it hurts me deeply that I missed the opportunity to insult the various land whales and goofy-looking motherfuckers that crossed my path over the years.

Most of all, I apologize to my many supporters who expected me to be more of an utter prick.  Many of you have written to me and defended me, but also asked why.  Why didn’t I step on my enemy’s genitals and laugh with glee?  Why didn’t I make claims about fornicating with their mothers and most disappointingly—  How could I not simply call them out for the fuckwits that they are?  I can only say, I just didn’t know what was going through my head at the time.

I know that I cannot undo the actions of the past, but I will strive in the future to be a complete douchebag to those I haven’t wronged enough before.  I promise to recommit myself to being a more selfish, derranged lunatic without an ounce of human compassion or respect for anyone.  And above all, I promise that when you meet me—  The new me—  You will regret every second of interaction we have and come to a new understanding of just how angry and bile-filled I really am.

Thank you for your time and again, I apologize sincerely to all you mouth-breathing, inbred, idiot half-wits that are unfit to stand in my presence.