Bumbling Government Employee Finally Quits

Hollywood Actor Tired of Banging More Than One Hot Chick

FBI Unsure of How Bad Imaginary Scare Should Be

U.S. Lines Up Next Bombing Target

Penn Government Employees Spankin’ It on Taxpayer Dime

French to Ruin France

Weird People Unable to Gauge Actual Weirdness

Hipsters Still Buying Useless Shit

New Facebook to Turn Facebook into Myspace and Myspace into Friendster

The Martians Have Got Balls