Merry Christmas, bros.

I hope you received many gifts under that tree you and your brothers built out of Rolling Rock empties.  But as always, it is time for TIF, even on Christmas, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is St. Nick.  Unfortunately, Twitter has not officially verified the real Santa, so you will have to choose.  Behold, the choices, bros.


21 minutes ago:  “Did you know that tinsel was once made of real silver! It was invented in Germany in 1610”

Sounds like something Santa would say.  Hm, but that underline in the middle of his name makes me suspicious.


13 hours ago:  “Santa’s Warming Up For The Big Night… via

Santa knows Vine?  No one that old even understands email.

@istheb  (AKA: Power Pop Santa)

10 minutes ago:  “I was going to go play WWE 2k14 but standing up is too risky so what’s up everyone?”

Santa doesn’t play with his own toys!


11 minutes ago:  “Hey Santa is here! ;) Just around the corner. ;)”

Well, it makes sense Santa would outsource.


December 22nd:  “No, I’ve never heard of Game of Thrones. Why do you ask?”

Well, if the Elves and all the good reindeer die, we know this one to be true.



Only an Elf types in caps, so maybe.

@Santa_St_Claus (AKA: Kris Kringle)

2 hours ago;  “Currently judging you.”

Oppressive, Santa.  And a bit creepy.


10 hours ago:  “ARE YOU READY KIDS!?!?!? Good. Cause I sure as hell ain’t.”

Christmas is stressful.  Probably even moreso for Santa.

@Santa_4_reals (AKA: Black Santa)

June 19th:  “‘s “That Nacho Cheese Sandwich” recipe is to die for, y’all!

Hmm, Santa may be way behind on his Twitter feed and news feed.

Okay, there are just too many Santas on Twitter.  I declare the winner to be…


December 19th:  “You say “potato,” I say “45-to-life, criminal scum.””

Seriously, who would you rather have come down your chimney?  A strange old man in a red suit?  Or Batman kicking ass?  Because if Batman comes, you know he’s there to save you.  And that’s the best Christmas present of all.