Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is Aaron Blitzstein, writer of Adult Swim, Family Guy and Letterman.  I’m already jealous of his career.  Let’s see if his tweets will also make me jealous.


Already Aaron scores a bunch of Insanity points for his America Psycho motif on his Twitter account.

July 14th:  “Good News: We can all say “NO!” to people who won’t shut up about Star Wars in the year 2013.”

Yes.  Thank you for saying it.  So God damned sick of it.

July 14th:  “Good News: Legally speaking, any time you see a baby wearing a Ramones t-shirt you can tell the parents they’re morons.”

Babies shouldn’t listen to the Ramones.  That’s not good baby music and the music videos will complete scare them.

July 14th:  “Good News: Somewhere, somehow, you can probably masturbate RIGHT NOW!!!”

Well, obviously.  Unless you’re piloting a dangerous vehicle or something.

July 14th:  “Good News: I will literally gift someone through iTunes a Clash song right now.”

Damn, all this craziness AND prizes.  You are really increasing your score, Aaron.

July 14th:  “Good News: You can fuck with a total stranger by yelling out from across the street, “How’s your horse??””

Wow, no wonder my rancher neighbors are always getting laid.

July 14th:  “Good News: Larry Sanders”

1998 good news is still good, technically.

July 14th:  “Good News: If you don’t own a pet you can still have a picture of Rick Moranis”

Shit, does that mean I have to thrown mine out because I have a dog?

July 14th:  “Good News: You probably don’t have one of those barbed wire tattoo things.”

But if you have hepatitis and banged the drummer from Motley Crue, then you probably do.

July 14th:  “Good News: Not only do you get Key, you also get Peele.”

That is good news.

July 14th:  “Good News: Seinfeld. Are you fucking kidding me? YOU CAN WATCH SEINFELD RIGHT NOW!!!!”

Too busy masturbating.

July 14th:  “Good News: You are alive. Go out and change things. Now.”

But I’m right in the middle of posting—  All right.  Dammit.

July 14th:  “Are you kidding me with this a-hole??

Cats are assholes.

July 15th:  “Idiot, it’s called a virginia. : Woman grows penis-shaped strawberry.”

Typical liberal media.

July 15th:  “What part of a cow is the pizza?”

Depends.  Do you make the crust out of beef like I do?

4 hours ago:  “”PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK, PACK…” – Chris Berman the night before a vacation”

That is a sports joke I actually get.

1 hour ago:  “Andrew W.K. got old, you guys.

Aw, doggie.

Okay, let’s rate Aaron’s tweets.  I have to give him a 10 for Mustness, a 9 for Style and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 9.3, one of the highest in recent weeks.  Definitely follow Aaron.

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