Apocalyptic Movie Premieres in Apocalyptic City

John Travolta/Nick Cage Sequel Happening

Geeks More Numerous in High Schools

Organization Pretends to Like Gay People

Russian Democracy Just as Hypocritical

NYPD Still Stopping and Frisking Wrong People

9 Year-Old Not Liking Her Happy Meal Prize

Company Tests Software No One Will Use

President Assures Nation He’s Not to Blame

Faxed Sandwiches Soon to Arrive