sf-chris-avatar.jpg  with Chris Moreno

Every Thursday, Chris Moreno lists individuals whose behaviors are so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

— The law of Greensboro, NC should all eat a long-distance dick for wrongly imprisoning, and then dragging through court, poor Jesse Ray Hardy Jr. in a case of mistaken identity.  BTW, jail was 160 miles away, and the judge, lawyers and bailiffs gave him a collected $58 for lunch and a bus ticket home.  The fuck?!  Though it is funny that they bought a guy named Hardy lunch.  But still– dicks in mouths for all!

— A Eustis, Florida mother and daughter were both jailed for fighting over the same man.  Jessica Marie Fixl beat a deep cut into her mother, Lisa W. Johnson’s, forehead, bringing police over to their home for the SECOND time that night!  Honestly, ladies, no man is worth mother-daughter fisticuffs.  I suggest a dick in the mouth for the both of them– something that probably would have averted this disaster in the first place.

— Mohammed Patel, the Briton who ran an insurance fraud ring, staging car crashes to win payouts to his co-conspirators, should find himself involved in a little collision I’ve staged… between a dick and his face.

— The U.S. Capitol Police officer who was found sleeping drunk in a woman’s bed after breaking into her home should find a warm dick sleeping in his mouth.

— I’ve got a hard-on (pun totally intended) for some justice against incompetent law enforcement this week, folks!  A virginia man arrested for indecent exposure after a woman and her 7-year-old, who were cutting across the man’s yard, spotted the man having coffee in his kitchen.  He was nude at the time.  It was 5:30 in the morning.  If the guy gets convicted he could face a year in jail and a $2,000 fine.  This cannot stand!  I, a great admirer of the power and majesty of the dick, can’t sit idly by and let this kind of travesty of justice prevail!  I’m calling in an air strike, people– a carpet bomb wave of dick to rain down on Springfiel, Virginia.  No one will be spared from the ensuing dickwave, especially the local law enforcement.  you’ve brough this on yourself, Springfield– arresting a man for being naked in his own house, called in by a woman who was trespassing on his property!

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.