sf-chris-avatar.jpg with Chris Moreno

Every Thursday, Chris Moreno lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

Hello, internet friends. I’ve been off drawing comics like a madman, but now I’m back to serve up a heapin’ helping of dick to some newsworthy ne’er-do-wells. Let’s get started, shall we?

 —  To Hector Ayala, who allegedly used Tarot cards to lure three teenage girls into sleeping with him: I see you’ve drawn the “Dick Eater”—hmm, a most ominous portent of doom.  If convicted, there will be much dick-eating in your future.  The cards never lie.

— The four gravediggers accused of digging up graves in an historic African-American cemetery in Chicago and reselling the plots, should be buried four deep in one grave, whereupon they can eat the decaying dicks of the dead in Hell.  

— The debt-ridden city of Los Angeles spent $1.4 million dollars to provide security, traffic control, cleanup, and other services for the Michael Jackson memorial service, and now holds its hand out to others to foot the bill.  I don’t have any money to spare, but I do have a dick the size of the population of the greater Los Angeles area that they can eat, free of charge!  

 — The Ohio woman who beat Bambi to death with a shovel, put it in a box and curbed it for trash pickup, should return to the dead fawn to the wood… and then eat wood.  It’s nature’s way.  

 — The robber who mugged a San Antonio woman and bit her, should take a bite off of a big ol’ dick, maybe from his new cellmate, Hector Ayala.  The cards never lie.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.