Wrestlers Doing Great Archaeology
Man Cuts Biggest Cheese of All
Politician Now Boring People Across Globe
Polar Bears to Get Food Stamps
Wrestlers Doing Great Archaeology
Man Cuts Biggest Cheese of All
Politician Now Boring People Across Globe
Polar Bears to Get Food Stamps
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is actor, Donal Logue, now one of the new badasses on Sons of Anarchy. Let’s see if his tweets are just as badass.
March 19th: “Love it when the late 1960’s meets the mid 13th Century Pentangle – Hunting Song: http://youtu.be/mFuxq_J1VuA via @youtube”
Okay, that’s definitely A Game of Thrones soundtrack song.
March 20th: “Pope resigns-Air Force One lands in Israel- a meteorite strikes Russia-Chuck Norris shaves his beard? We are truly in Nostradamus territory”
That’s okay. Under Chuck Norris’s beard is another beard!
March 20th: “Michelle certainly shocked.”
Get that woman a tarot card reading, stat.
March 20th: “killer pic of hilarious, unstoppable force of nature, Ms. @alisonbrie New Wired cover http://twitpic.com/ccx3rw via @TwitPic”
That girl loves to model.
March 23rd: “times are hard boiled for eggs like us.”
It sounds like Donal is already in character for SoA.
March 24th: “Ever want a time machine? here it is-Miami Connection – this B classic is being re-released theatrically http://www.imdb.com/rg/s/1/title/tt0092549/#lb-vi1326753561 …”
Finally! Can I get that on blu-ray too?
23 Hours ago: “Whether you have kids or not, this book is brilliant- Polka-Bats and Octopus Slacks by Calef Brown http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/book/polka-bats-and-octopus-slacks …”
Loving the title. Got a great cadence to it.
6 hours ago: “the crushing, hydraulic pressure chamber of marriage should be fully available to all.”
The big question is, who gets screwed in the gay divorced?
6 hours ago: “buzz bissinger- I totally get it- I own 14,312 pairs of expensive leather pants and maybe only 2 or 3 of them give me real pleasure.”
Wow. I think I can pay off my house selling those pants.
4 hours ago: “gente mexicana en canada- ?donde (y como) estas viendo el juego entre estados unidos y el tri?”
Si.
3 hours ago: “pretty bizarre equalizer in #England/Montenegro game- had a severe U-7’s youth league goal vibe to it”
No idea what you’re saying.
3 hours ago: “Is Gerrard the only Brit who plays with pride? It must be more frustrating to be a fan of the English National Side than the Chicago Cubs”
I didn’t know Gerrard Butler played sports.
Okay, let’s rate Donal’s tweets. I think it’s pretty genuine. If I understood more things about foreign sports, I’d understand the ending. For an actor, not too bad. Like to see some behind-the-scenes stuff when they start shooting Sons. And watch Sons of Anarchy. It’s awesome. I give Donal 8 for Mustness, 8 for Insanity and an 8 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8.
And if you have a suggestion for TIF email us here.
I used to really enjoy going to the movies. But recently, they’ve gotten too expensive for me and with Netflix being only $8 a month, I can pretty much see a shitty movie whenever I want in the comfort of my own home. Here’s why I’m not going to see these movies:
Evil Dead: You lost me at “The most terrifying film you will ever experience”, because that clearly sounds like you’re never going to live up to my expectations. Now add “or your money back” and then I’d go see it.
Olympus Has Fallen: So I’m expected to believe that the most powerful country in the world gets its capitol taken over by terrorists? What am I, five? They arrest and blow up people just for thinking about attacking the White House. They already made this movie and it’s called Red Dawn. If your arm is tired from waving an American flag all day, every day, then maybe you need to see this. I don’t even think I’d see this movie as a joke, despite the presence of Morgan Freeman.
The Call: Halle Berry plays a dispatcher that takes a 911 call from a woman who is in a trunk and being kidnapped. The trailer pisses me off for several reasons. First off, every one of the dispatchers in the trailer is obviously a hot actress, including Berry. Every one I’ve seen on the news is overweight from sitting all day because of their job. Second, the trailer shows the whole fucking movie. What possible scene is left out of that montage? You know Berry must survive and she must save the girl or the movie would playing in some kind of arthouse theater. And third, why would I pay ten dollars for a movie that’s been done on TV like a million times? Did no one working on this film ever watch half a season of Law & Order?
Inappropriate Comedy: Here’s my question: How can you make a two-hour comedy movie and not have one funny line to show in the trailer? That opening line with Adrian Brody parodies a movie from 1983. (Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact.) The movie is obviously aimed at teens and 20-somethings, so who the fuck wrote these “jokes”? This trailer made Movie 43 look watchable. I’m pretty sure that you could take five random people off the street and have them write a funnier bit than, “Go ahead, make me gay.” That doesn’t even make any sense.
G.I. Joe Retaliation: This movie looks so bad, I think if you just played music and explosions instead of the dialogue, the audience would probably enjoy it just as much. I mean, did anyone making this movie see the first G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra? That movie made me want to punch the 80’s in the throat. It’s a fucking toy line and the cartoon made more sense to me than the film. Making a sequel to this steaming pile is like building your house on quicksand, watching it sink and saying, “You know what? I’m gonna build another house right there!”
The Host: You lost me at “from the Creator of Twilight”.
Oblivion: Tom Cruise really ought to start calling his movies, “Tom Cruise Does X” or “Tom Cruises Stops Y”. Like MI movies could be called “Tom Cruise Stops Terrorists 1 thru 4” and that Jack Reacher movie should just be called “Tom Cruise Beats Up Some Dudes”. Now we’ve already had “Tom Cruise vs. the Martians”, I think this one should be called “Future Tom Cruise”. I may actually go see this movie because really, it’s like seeing “The Further Adventures of Tom Cruise”.
Okay, that’s all I can stand to talk about. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch Archer reruns on Netflix.
If your birthday is this week: You sensei comes for a visit and together, you teach that biker gang a lesson they’ll never forget.
Aries: Your cupcake launcher is a huge success with fat people who’d rather not make the long trip to the kitchen.
Taurus: Your excuse for missing your friend’s improv performance is totally believable to your friend until he reads your Fratoscope here.
Gemini: Turns out the mummy’s curse means there’s never anything good on Netflix for you.
Lemini: The peace treaty you have with the squirrels is finally broken. Prepare to be pelted with acorns in your driveway.
Cancer: You robot roommate is a success! Now if you can just get him to stop masturbating and borrowing your money.
Leo: The stars say, you may be are too successful. Smoke some pot and lounge around so other people get a chance.
Virgo: You sit on something very uncomfortable during your trip to the dildo factory.
Libra: This week, keep your car full of gas and your zombie weapons and survival gear ready. They’re going to have you committed this time.
Scorpio: You S&M session is a little loud and your neighbors will complain about the slapping noise.
Sagittarius: Your Scorpio neighbor sounds like he’s beating two hams together.
Capricorn: Be careful, your town’s mayor is an aspiring Bond villain. Don’t let him pass that ordinance involving volcano lairs.
Aquarius: Your alligator, Scaly survived the flush and this week he’s back for revenge.
Pisces: Your imaginary friend comes by for a visit and take you out to brunch. Unfortunately, he’ll “forget” his imaginary wallet.
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