Bureaucrat Plans Massive Distraction to Hide Incompetence
The South Begins to Rise Again
Crazy Man Has Gun and Exact Change
Suicide Now Requires Application
Politician Against Vote Recount
Kansas Reporter Obviously Hasn’t Been on Internet Long
Bureaucrat Plans Massive Distraction to Hide Incompetence
The South Begins to Rise Again
Crazy Man Has Gun and Exact Change
Suicide Now Requires Application
Politician Against Vote Recount
Kansas Reporter Obviously Hasn’t Been on Internet Long
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.
Today’s contestant is the Office’s Kevin, Brian Baumgartner. He’s funny on the show, let’s see what his tweets are like.
August 5th: “This Manziel mess is going to turn very, very ugly. Everyone is to blame- the parents, Texas A&M- and primarily- the NCAA.”
Kevin is a sports guy. And here, I thought all his tweets would be about cookies.
August 5th: “Well yes- Johnny Football is certainly responsible as well. Oversight leaving him off my list.”
Johnny Football, of course, the inventor of football in 1912.
August 5th: “Whether college players should be paid for playing b/c of revenue they generate for the univ & NCAA is one thing… We can debate endlessly”
Free college is almost like getting paid. Quite frankly, the big time college sports detracts from the whole purpose of college.
August 5th: “BUT the NCAA and univ benefiting financially by SELLING appearances by their students, and signed merchandise is unacceptable & exploitive.”
Yeah, I agree.
August 5th: “Read carefully peeps- we r not talking about free ed for playing football. We r discussing NCAA & univ selling him: appearances & images.”
Nothing wrong with that, but really, college sports is just way too big. Too much money. They ought to just have a pay league for college-age players or go from high school to pro.
August 5th: “It is impossible to make any comment & not get a negative response from some jaded/ cynical person. Healthy disagreement is awesome. But…”
The Internet. I feel ya, bro!
August 5th: “I could describe the beauty of the Monarch Butterfly and someone who describe them as rats with wings. Or tell me 1 killed their Mom.”
For some reason, I read that in Kevin’s voice.
August 8th: “Idea: Every team in every pro sport has a player deemed “Benchie”. He would be a solid teammate, work hard, appreciate fans & show emotion.”
I was “Benchie” on my Little League team.
August 8th: “My prediction: “Benchie” would outsell almost all other players in jersey sales. So… Win, win, win.”
Plus he’d have plenty of time to sign autographs.
August 10th: “Guys what are you talking about Braves & Tigers hotter? Dodgers are 35 – 8 since June 22. Nobody is hotter (or has better record) since!”
I’d give it to the Tigers. Their city needs the money.
7 hours ago: “The tweet I just re- tweeted might be my new favorite tweet of all time. Kudos.”
Which was: “new life goal- directing @BBBaumgartner as edmund in a re-imagining of king lear set in a detroit travel agents. angela as goneril optional.”
I can see it. But only if you do it as Kevin.
Okay, let’s rate Kevin’s tweets. Surprisingly good considering all the sports references. Wonder what he’s working on these days. I give BB a 7 for Mustness, 7 for Insanity and 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 7.6. How can you not follow Kevin? You can read it in his voice!
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
There’s some shit even a vast, government bureaucracy won’t was resources preserving.
1. Fat people porn
2. 90% of Chat Roulette
3. Some of the more disgusting extras from Tosh.0
4. Spoilers from Breaking Bad’s final season.
5. All those Harlem Shake videos.
6. Secret President Cheney’s emails
7. Anything from the Star Wars Prequels
8. Libertarians, just to spite them.
9. Kanye West’s Twitter Feed
10. Cats. Too many God damned cats.
If your birthday is this week: Your family and the NSA will wish you a happy birthday via email.
Aries: You will accidentally murder the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, but c’mon, he’s a bug.
Taurus: Your barbecue roadkill will taste delicious, but give everyone parasites.
Gemini: Your Beanie Baby collection is still worthless. Sorry.
Lemini: The stars say, your massage will end with an unhappy ending.
Cancer: You will discover that your investment in a British porn company was ill timed.
Leo: You will develop a silly accent that will prevent you from properly pronouncing the word “slacks”.
Virgo: This week, someone will mow obscenities into your front lawn.
Libra: Your neighbor will admit he’s been watching you shower, but that things have grown stale and he can no longer masturbate to you.
Scorpio: You’ll finally confess to your Libra neighbor.
Sagittarius: You’ll discover that your girlfriend his your cocaine in the bread crumbs after eating some breaded chicken and staying up for three days.
Capricorn: You will share an awkward elevator ride with Mickey Rourke.
Aquarius: You will glue your hand to something awesome this week.
Pisces: You’ll finally discover that one thing that will pay your bills and change your life…a job!
Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation
Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics